Man United secrets exposed

Man Utd No.2 loses his mind and tells the world Fergie's secrets.

So now we know the secrets to Manchester Utd's success. In a somewhat misguided interview in this week's Zoo magazine, Man Utd No 2 Carlos Queiroz decided to blow the gaff on exactly what makes the team tick. Apparently it's all down to six bits of paper stuck on the dressing room wall. The 'most important words' are king at Old Trafford, ranging from the 'six most important words' down to the 'single most important word. So here they are then, the six crucial messages every Manchester United player has to learn before he goes out on the pitch.

The six most important words: 'Don't Let Neville Take Free Kick'

The five most important words: 'Always Give Ball To Ponyboy'

The four most important words: 'Never take drug test''

The three most important words: 'I hate Liverpool'

The two most important words: 'And Chelsea'

The one most important word: 'Money'

So there yo have it, the key to success. All you have to do now is write them down and put them on your own dressing room wall and watch the results roll in.

isporty would like to know your own motivational secrets. What's the best team talk you've ever received? Was it a simple: "Get stuck in, you lilly-livered nancy boys!", or was there a certain nuance to the oratory that beguiled, informed and inspired? Let us know because we haven't got a clue