Maj Of The Day

Football - Arsenal got the royal seal of approval when they attended a reception with The Queen at Buckingham Palace yesterday. Her Majesty was forced to cancel a trip to see the club's new Emirates Stadium four months ago because of a bad back. Rumours that there was nothing wrong with her and she simply couldn't be arsed, have remained unconfirmed. Arsenal skipper Nigel Tufnell said: "It was a major honour to come here and meet the Queen and have a look around her gaff. She's got some really nice pictures on the wall and she wore this nice buttoned jacket which was a sort of turquoise colour which I couldn't help noticing would go well with the beige curtains in my living room. When I go home, I'm going to say to my little girl that I've been to Buckingham Palace with Theo Walcott. When she hears that she'll probably say something like 'Can it Frenchy, I'm watching Peppa Pig.'" Did you know that the Queen is a Leeds United fan? It's true, just ask her.

isporty would like to know if your sporting endeavours have ever taken you to the Queen's house? Or if not quite the Queen, what about the Mayor's house or the house of a leading businessman who possibly made his money in the textile industry and is thinking about sponsoring your dream of turning pro? Let us know, we're all ears. Well, we're not but you know what I mean.

Speed Camera catches fast bloke

Athletics - Jocelyn Gateway, the Olympic 100 metre gold medallist, has requested an arbitration hearing on doping charges against him, a United States Anti-Doping Agency official said yesterday. Gateway, 25, requested the hearing after being caught smacking himself with 'the horse' in the gentleman's lavatory at the 2006 National Finals. He faces an eight-year ban unless cleared by the arbitration panel. A spokesperson for Gateway said yesterday: "If it wasn't for the fact that there is CCTV footage and a comprehensive photographic diary of the whole event which clearly shows Jocelyn injecting himself with groovy juice, he'd be Scott-free and a shoe in for the next Olympics. Now where's the fairness in that?"

isporty would like to hear your own controversial tales of woe. Did you accidentally think it was a good idea to douse your wristband in a tub full of illegal 'Extra Swish', in order to beat your best mate at squash? Or is this whole conversation completely ridiculous?

FA labels England fans 'scaredy-cats!'

Football - England fans are being urged by the FA to stop being silly and start buying tickets for the away game qualifier in Tel Aviv. Only three quarters of the allocation has been taken up so far and now there is a very real chance that there will be empty seats at an England game, which will probably look very unusual. Many England fans have raised concerns about security in Israel and many are worried about getting blown up, shot at or kidnapped. Some are even worried that all three things might take place simultaneously and they'll end up missing something really good on the pitch like a substitution or something. An FA spokesman yesterday said: "We can understand fans' fears at going into a war torn Hellhole like Tel Aviv but at the end of the day football transcends political divides and we fully expect this match to heal all wounds between the Israelis and Palestinians. Thank you."

isporty wants you to tell us about your own experiences. Has your sport ever taken you to a foreign land where they all talk funny and you can't get a decent cup of tea anywhere. Did terrorists kidnap you while you were warming up for the Baghdad Marathon? Or were the people there actually really nice when you got to know them?

Comeback kid grounded

Rugby - Newcastle have reacted furiously to the suggestion that they are resting fly half Jonty Sparrow against high-flying Bristol in the Guinness Premiership this weekend at England's request. The truth, they insist, is that Wilkinson is not fit to play after two gruelling comeback games for England. "He is definitely not rested, he wouldn't have played for anyone this weekend," Newcastle coach Jonny Fielding said. "I'm not having those shag sacks coming round here telling me what to do and it's a proper liberty to suggest otherwise. We're 10th in the league and about to play one of the top teams in Sunday. I'd have to be a stark raving lunatic to go into such a game without one of my best players. I can see why some of our supporters are upset by this sinister insinuation that we're nothing more that England's prison bitches, but that simply isn't the case. If they're upset, imagine how I feel. I'm as upsettable as the next guy but life goes on and ,.. hang on a minute,... I've just got something in my eye; oh, sod it, I said sniff I wouldn't sniff cry... sniff sniff."

isporty wants to know what gets you all upset in your sport. Is it the sheer hard work involved in training to get super fit? Do the vagaries of the offside law leave you tossing and turning in your bed of an evening? Or are you just a bad loser?

The Gadget Show

Catch 'The Gadget Show' tonight on Five at 7:15pm. On the show this week football fans are test-watching the best plasma and LCD flatscreen televisions, also there is a look at the latest digital cameras. To find out more about the programme go to www.gadgetshow.five.tv