Chaos as PM joins 'Cash For Tickets' row

Prime Minister Tony Blair yesterday chose an unorthodox route to give his backing to The Sun campaign aimed at reducing ticket prices for football fans.

In an emotional and unscheduled address to the Working Men's Club in Sale, Blair shocked onlookers as he wept openly into his shandy and said loudly: "Leeds United added an extra 10,000 to their recent attendance versus QPR after Ken Bates finally realised that charging working class people £40 each to watch a bunch of over-paid muppets flounder around a football pitch, was not going to work." A visibly shaken Mr Blair had to be helped from the stage as he apeared to lose his footing getting down the steps. "I'm allright," he shouted but onlookers begged to differ. "He was pretty wasted," said a regular at the club. "He and a few of the other cabinet guys came in around 11.30 this morning after a foreign policy all nighter. You could tell they wanted to blow off some steam. A row broke out about football and Blair attempted to calm things down by jumping up on stage and waving a copy of The Sun at everyone." "What is it about bloody football?" he was later heard shouting as he queued for a cab. "It's madness when you think how bloody expensive it is. And clubs like Leeds are in serious danger of jettisonning a whole generation of would be fans whose parents can't afford the daft prices and who'll end up supporting the same old Premiership big guns as they can afford to watch them on TV. It's bloody sod's law, oi, I saw that cab first..."

isporty would like to know what you think of all this ticket pricing caper. Has the world gone mad? And if it has, what can be done about it? Come on, if it's good enough for the Prime Minister...

What's the best chant of the season?

Nuts Magazine are continuing their "2007 WKD Nuts Football Awards". This week's category is the best chant of the season. One of our favourities is "He'll shoot, he'll score, he'll eat your labrador, Seol Ki-Hyeon, Seol Ki-Hyeon!" Brilliant!!

Liverpool v Barcelona Preview

You can get 500-1 that Craig Bellamy will French kiss John Arne Riise as he flies through the air to score a dramatic bicycle kick winner in front of the Kop End next week.

And you can get a further 1,000-1 that Riise will remove his Liverpool shirt at the end of the game to reveal an undershirt which says 'Valley Boys do it best'. After their heroics in the Nou Camp last week, few people are backing against the Reds completing a famous victory. Even Ronaldinho was moved by events. "It take a lot to make me cry," said the horse-faced wizard. "But when I heard that Bellamy had made a proposal of marriage to John Arne Riise, I had to be hosed down. You'd have to be a mug to back against them going all the way and getting a hat-trick each against us in Liverpool. We've got no chance and between you and I, this trip to Liverpool for me is more about my pilgrimage to the Beatles Museum which is wonderful at this time of year. Paul McCartney is definitely my favourite Beatle."

isporty would like to know what you think is going to happen at Anfield next week. Will Liverpool triumph or will Ronaldinho forget all about The Beatles and concentrate on the job in hand?

The Worst Sporting Tantrums

Nuts magazine - After Lille's sulking against Man Utd last week, Nuts have searched the archives to find other sportsmen who have been left in a bit of a huff! Sport Stars David Beckham, 'The Rocket' Ronnie O'Sullivan and Martin 'Crazy' Keown are all included.

Nuts Pub Pool Challenge

Nuts Magazine in association with MoneyGaming.com are starting this year's "Nuts Pub Pool Challenge". First prize is a massive £50,000! Anyone can enter the competition and the finals will be screened on Sky Sports. To enter this competition you have to text NUTSPOOL followed by a space and then enter your postcode to 88100. To find out more information visit www.nuts.co.uk/pubpool or phone 0870 167 0731.

Nuts Investigation

Nuts Magazine have found a new breed of footballers known as SAF's - or more well known as Small Angry Footballers. Following Craig Bellamy's antics abroad last week Nuts have discovered that Bellamy is barmy because he's tiny. Other examples include Newcastle's wild Turk Emre and that little pushy Scot Paul Dickov. We think the founder of this footballer has to be Dennis Wise!

Competitive Dad loses the plot

Take a look at Zoo's 7 Hot Links - we suggest looking at video 4. A father sees his son lose a wrestling bout and decides he wants some of the action!

Could you be England's biggest fan?

Zoo Magazine has teamed up with Carlsberg to give England's biggest fan the chance to see every sports event at Wembley for a year! This includes England games,cup finals... the lot! Go to www.EnglandsBestFan.com/Probably and answer 20 questions all about the England football team in the fastest time possible. If you come out on top you will become a Wembley regular. Good Luck!

Play at the Emirates

The O2 fans 5-a-side football is just round the corner and O2 are giving teams the chance to play at Arsenal's new home, the Emirates. To enter, visit O2.co.uk/arsenal and enjoy the VIP treatment of this hallowed turf.

Ice Climbing

Ice Climbing, as the term indicates, is the activity of ascending inclined ice formations. Usually, though, ice climbing refers to roped and protected climbing of features such as icefalls, frozen waterfalls, and cliffs and rock slabs covered with ice refrozen from flows of water. Ice climbing is broadly divided into two spheres, alpine ice and water ice.

Dog Day Afternoon

Oscar De La Hoya has stunned future opponent Floyd Mayweather Jr after making a bizarre claim that Mayweather is, in actual fact, a small dog trapped in a large man's body.

As the run in to the world's richest ever bout, titled The World Awaits, began in earnest, De La Hoya wasted no time in admistering some serious freakdown to the proceedings: "I can tell when someone is nervous," said the self-styled Pretty Boy. "It's a bit like a Chihuahua looking for a loud discussion with an Alsatian, they don't really mean it. At the end of the day, Chihuahua's would rather settle down with a good book and have a smoke on their pipe. They might come over all 'Yeah? Yeah?,' but they really don't mean it." De La Hoya's comments were in response to Mayweather offering him a personal $3m bet as to the outcome. "I have yet to meet the Chihuahua who can get his hands on that kind of money quickly," said De La Hoya. "A St Bernard yes, a Labrador possibly but a Chihuahua? He's crazy." The World Awaits is being beamed live to 176 countries around the world and is expected to surpass pay-per-view records set by Lennox Lewis v Mike Tyson.

isporty would like to know which type of dog you think is most likely to be able to get his hands on $3m. Or, more reasonably, isporty would like to know who you think is going to win this mega fight. And what about Mayweather's estranged father, Floyd Mayweather Sr being De La Hoya's trainer?! You couldn't make it up. It's on HBO May 5th, don't miss it.