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BLOG POSTS ARCHIVE - April 2007
Posted Apr 10th 2007, 11:56am
by Gareth Davies
Easter Rising
Alleluia Alleluia, Mixed vets team re-born
IVFC (mixed) {4} vs Belvedere {0}
With the Holy trinity in omnipresence, Dinescu (the father) Dougarri (the son) and Garibaldi (the oldie Ghost…surely holy! Ed.) a team whose belief can be questioned sometimes laid waste to the Evil that was Belvedere.
Having dragged themselves through the streets of south London, often castigated for their belief that they were good football players, one thing remained this Sunday…they, in their Papal strip, would shine like a beacon for all the world to see…(well all for the world that they could see from the pitch at the Barracks.)
Like a prodigal son returning, Sutty arrived from his 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness of Scotland (where ever the MOD chose to send him*) His vocation for Midfield order saw a coherence of all elements with every man turning in a good performance.
With Rusti, Garlibaldi, Pops and Pab holding fast in defence apart from a few mis-communications, the midfield were allowed to exploit the weaknesses of the oppo by nailing some fine passes through to the wingers who were able to put up some fine crosses.
After much divine intervention at the foot of the goal the break through came with Dougarri, hotly followed by Schmitt who linked well to evade a late scything from a non-believer and deliver a blow at the heart of Belvedere, probably the pick of the bunch.
Two nil down and there was to be no second coming from the oppo.
Dougarri’s half-time talk / sermon went a bit over the top but its intention was admirable…
….“The path of the IVFC man is beset on all sides by the bad tackles of the selfish and the diving of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of winning and sod the oppo, shepherds the weak (or Padjak) through the valley of Charlton, for he is truly his brother's keeper (who would have nothing to do all day either) and the finder of lost causes. And I will strike into the goal upon thee with great vengeance and furious bitching those who would attempt to chop me down and destroy my teammates. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my hand upon thee (and tell you you’re subbed) “
After the fire and brimstone from the one they call Tall…Pricey notched a fine effort with the oppo’s defence still asleep. Late on Pricey tapped in after Dougarri prostrated himself at the foot of a cross, inadvertently taking out (Bundle in old skool parlance) the keeper.
The second half comfort zone was tested as most players bar Rusti and Padjak had a ‘go’ upfront. With spring in their step, the team felt it could do no wrong..and as it turned out they were right.
Four nil and the team from the marshes were sent skulking back to the reed beds to rue the day they came upon this band of 12 men good and true. Well..ok maybe not good and maybe not true but this was win was no miracle.
NB.
Wikipedia - A word about the role of the keeper –
Usually special rules apply to the goalkeeper that do not apply to the other players. In certain games such as those played for IVFC Mixed vet’s team’s goalkeepers are required to wear special equipment like Slippers and a pipe, a copy of the Guardian to protect their bodies from boredom. In soccer goalkeepers wear gloves that keep their hands warm because the oppo never has a shot on goal.
Team
Padjak – gaol keeper, Gari The Baldi, Rusti The Forward, Pop the King of Emails, Pab the Lo, Sutty the prodigal son, Ray the Naldo of Plumstead, Steve the older, Simon Son of Schmitt, Dougarri the Non Believer, Pricey the expensive one, Kev of The Bench.
Man of the match – Team IVFC for their devotion to the cause
* You can read all about Sutty’s time in the wilderness exclusively on this site. All fee’s (half a dinare..half a dinare for a life story!) from this piece of cheque book journalism go directly to Faye Tozer (sorry Turney) in order for her to get a proper job on reality TV.
Posted Apr 2nd 2007, 12:44pm by Gareth Davies
Young Vets draw a Blanco against Sanco.
The game was pencilled in for a mighty clash at the barrack’s, however cometh the hour….cometh the man…well a phone call in fact… “sorry we can’t raise a team”.
With heavy hearts the message disseminated to the ‘keen as mustard’ (made in Norwich) players.
Doom and despair followed in greater waves of despondency than last week’s 9-4 drubbing…..what in effect this message meant was that we’d have to spend the Sunday morning’s with our families / mistress’ / spliff’s / parole officer (delete as appropriate)
My morning kicked off with a bright start..namely the ‘Heaven and Earth show’…what Gloria Hunniford can’t tell me about step in bath’s and planning for my funeral isn’t worth knowing (sorry that’s June Whitfield)..Anyway Charles Kennedy looked bright and breezy on the wing (of the sofa), probably had a little stiffener out of the chalice, well after all it was 11am.
At the half time whistle some big decisions had to be made in order to keep things going….was it to be a digestive and a cup of coffee or a cup of Tea and a shortbread..Big decisions needed big players.
So with John Craven dusting off his jumper for another week Countryfile got underway and immediately scored with an item about Follies……as I found out the goal was disallowed …for far from being about the lovely ladies of Paris, who “entertain” gentlemen…it was about architectural whims of wealthy landowners…..
Anyway as the morning ground to an unexciting conclusion…the proverbial 0-0…..all across London, members of IVFC junior vets were praying that no more matches would be cancelled otherwise desperate measures would have to be taken……TRAINING.
Comments
Sounds like a fair result. It's always good to get a clean sheet. In fact I managed several clean sheets that Sunday morning, the whites came out brilliantly. It's amazing the results Ariel can give you on a cooler wash these days.
Posted by Russ Fraser, Apr 4th 2007, 2:55pm
Comments